Anyway. We stand up and kiss, and then we sit down and kiss, and half of me is telling myself not to worry, and the other half is feeling pleased with myself, and these two halves make a whole and leave no room for the Let It Snow Grinch and Max shirt here and now, for any pleasure or lust, so then I start wondering whether I have ever enjoyed this stuff, the physical sensation rather than the fact of it, or whether it’s just something I feel I ought to do, and when this reverie is over I find that we’re no longer kissing but hugging, and I’m staring at the back of the sofa. Marie pushes me away so that she can have a look at me and, rather than let her see me gazing blankly into space.
Let It Snow Grinch and Max shir, V-neck, Tank Top, Hoodie,Sweatert
I squeeze my eyes tight shut, which gets me out of the Let It Snow Grinch and Max shirt immediate hole but which in the long run is probably a mistake, because it makes it look as though I have spent most of my life waiting for this moment, and that will either scare her rigid or make her assume some things that she shouldn’t. ‘You OK?’ she says. I nod. ‘You?’ ‘For now. But I wouldn’t be if I thought this was thethe end of the evening.’ When I was seventeen, I used to lie awake at night hoping that women would say things like that to me; now, it just brings back the panic.